Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Free Comic Book Day 2014 Goodies...Pt. 1

I didn't have the chance to scope out all my local stores, just the one closest to work, so I only got three books. I'm not sure how it's supposed to go, but this store had all the books behind the counter, and one of the clerks asked me what kind of comics I liked...

Now as much as I would like to have said "One of each please and thank you", I was good and said "Superhero".

So I got three books. On top of that, I've been busy, so I've only had a chance to read one of them:
This was my only DC book in the bunch, and I'm about to talk about it after the jump. You've been warned.

This book irked me.
It had nothing to do with the writing (by Brian Azzarello, Jeff Lemire, Dan Jurgens and Keith Giffen).
It had nothing to do with the artwork (by Ethan Van Sciver, Patrick Zircher, Aaron Lopresti, Art Thibert, Dan Jurgens, Mark Irwin, Jesus Merino and Dan Green).
It had to do with the premise of the thing.
35 years from now, the DCnU faces complete infestation of 'bugs' - robotic Brood/Borg types that invade human body and essentially rewrite DNA into binary code.
Wait...it gets better...
These bugs have already taken over Superman, Wonder Woman, Batgirl, Aquaman and...Hellblazer? Flash and Grifter are killed outright, Black Canary's face is in Frankenstein's chest, and Captain Cold gets...infected I guess, along with Blue Beetle, and John Stewart. But not Batman...never Batman...who's alive and in the 'Cave (along with Terry Batman Beyond McGinnis) gearing up to travel into the past to prevent this alternate future from happening. 
But not for long! As the bugs prepare to invade the 'Cave, we learn that Brother Eye is behind the bugs, and Bruce and Mr. Terrific are behind Brother Eye's creation.
The bugs invade, Bruce dies, and Terry goes back in time instead. The kicker? Terry only went 30 years back...not 35...
So. We've got a future timeline where everybody dies. By Brother Eye. That Bruce created. Unless a time traveler sent from that scary place stops it...in time.
I haven't picked up one single "New 52" book, or any DC book published after 52 (which was fantastic) and I know what Brother Eye is, and who created it. I remember the Armageddon Annuals from 1991. It also looks like this title will be published weekly a. la. 52.
Again, the story itself is well told. I liked Flash and Captain Cold working together to survive the onslaught. Bruce getting killed was a nice touch. The art is great throughout...but I just don't f**king care!
Here's what went through my head:
1) Which universe is this again? 
2) Didn't I read this already?
3) Has anything changed since I last read one of DC's books almost 8 years ago to the day?
Not really.
I know my not reading regularly is part of the problem, but since DC's reset their books so many times, there's no gravitas. Nothing to make me give a damn. It feels like DC's business plan is as follows:
Everybody Dies
Everybody Gets Better
Repeat
Dear DC,
You've got great characters. You've got great creative talent. Use 'em. Just use 'em.
And more importantly? 
Stick with 'em.

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