Deep Impressions - Game of Thrones: "Winter is Coming" - The Wall

Needless to say, Spoilers Ahead...just in case I'm not the last person on Earth over twelve who hasn't seen this yet.

I'm reviewing each episode's "happenings" based on location. In other words, each place is getting its own review.

Season 1 Episode 1: "Winter is Coming" - The Wall

The Gist: 

Three guys on horseback go under a wall. After riding for a while, they enter a forest and split up. 

Guy #1 finds a pile of dead bodies in a unique arrangement:

as well as a girl stabbed into a f**king tree, and runs back to the others.

Guy #2 doesn't like the sound of this s#!t.

He says that their mission was to track the "Wildlings". Having found them, they should go back to The Wall.

Guy #3 won't have any of that nonsense. 

He tells the others that if they go back to The Wall, they'll be asked about how the Wildlings died. So he makes them go back to where the bodies were found...only to find nothing there. Then they split up. Again.

Guy #2, who's not too far away from Guy #3, finds something in the snow. He starts to describe what he's found,

 when something damn freaky shows up behind Guy #3.

 Guy #3 turns and gets (what looks like) a sword in the gut.

 

 Not being an idiot, Guy #2 runs like hell. But he's not alone,

because Damn Freaky Thing's brought some friends.

Guy #1 (who's off on his own) sees someone further ahead, who turns around - 

and reveals herself as the same Wildling he found earlier stabbed into a f**king tree.

Not being an idiot, Guy #1 runs like hell.

Eventually, Guys #1 and #2 run within sight of each other. As they stop to catch their breaths,

Damn Freaky Thing catches up to Guy #2...

...cuts Guy #2's head clean off...

...and tosses it to Guy #1.

The Good: This is the first scene of the first episode, and plays out very closely to the first chapter of the first book (or so I thought, see below). It was REALLY well done. However...

The Bad: ...the book explains who these guys are as well as their stations prior to donning the Black. Here, we have absolutely NO freaking idea who these Guys are or why #1 and #2 are even listening to #3. We learn who they are later in the episode in passing, but it would have been nice to have names to the faces here.  

The WTF?:

There's a point in the scene when Guy #3 offers Guy #1 a choice: stay and check out the carnage, or run South and be branded a deserter...which is essentially a death sentence. Okay, fine. 

But there's a snag.

Even if you've never read the books, and went into this show knowing nothing, you'd know right off the bat that these three Guys are in a snow-covered wood after leaving a big-a$$ wall behind. 

BIG. A$$. WALL.

So even if Guy #1 chose to run South (which I would have most likely done), how could he have gotten past the big-a$$ wall? Climb over it? Go around it? I suppose he could have gone back to the Wall and asked for more help (which I would have most likely done), but why would he be branded a deserter? Would he have been branded a deserter if he requested assistance? I don't think so, but that's what we're led to believe. 

Between you and me, I would have left with Guy #2 after telling Guy #3 to go f**k himself.

I don't get the arrangement of the bodies.

If it's supposed to be a number or a letter, I don't see it. If it's supposed to be a symbol, we should see the symbol somewhere else in the episode. If the point is to show signs of intelligence, okay? I guess? What does come across very well is the OCD level of the Damn Freaky Things, because that is one really clean field of death right there. There's no pools of blood or spray patterns anywhere. I bet you wouldn't even find any fingerprints.  

Mrs. Adorkification Moments: Okay. When I said before that this scene runs pretty faithful to the book, I was wrong. According to my wife:

Guy #3 (Ser Waymay Royce) was indeed killed first, but he became one of The Others and killed...

...Guy #1 (Will) by strangulation.

And it was Guy #2 (Gared) who lived through the ordeal.

...

I still say he and Will should have left after telling Ser Royce to go f**k himself.