Amazing Spider-Man #700...WTF?

I'm trying something new this year - using a Blogger button before untouched...

The Jump.

I've seen it used by many who write several articles a day as headlines, leading the reader to click to read more of a selected story, which makes sense

But this is one blog...run by one dork...so I never saw the need for it until now.

I'm going to be talking quite a bit about this issue and it's impact. So if you haven't heard the hype, or have chosen not to do so until you read it for yourself...GO NO FURTHER...for here there be spoilers...

Warning - I'm going to rant. At first, I planned on sorting my thoughts in a "plus and minus" sort of list but my emotions have gotten the better of me - so screw it.

Let's start with the cover of the second printing:

That's damn bold. If you walk into a store without knowing anything, this is gonna get your attention. But guess what? It's been done before...

This is an issue I bought fresh of the rack when it came out. McFarlane's art rules. Don't care what you say.

See the issue number? That's ASM #300...back when issue numbers meant a damn.

One of the many things Marvel did to increase sales was to end one series and start another with a fresh #1 on it. So back in 1998, this was the final issue of ASM...

And in 1999, it was replaced with this...

Now this didn't just happen with Spidey...it happened across the Marvel Universe.

But wait! Marvel then decided to re-number everything new back to their original volumes...to increase sales. So issue #58 of the new ASM...

was followed next month by #500 of the old ASM...

Now - I'm old. I gave up reading/following comics in general by this point, so I just shook my head slowly real Kermit-like and chuckled to myself "Oh that Marvel...".

[NOTE - There was a lot of crazy s#!t happening at DC as well, but that's another rant for another day.]

So basically, Marvel was pulling all the stops to get new readers to...well keep reading, and non-readers to start. 

Hello Marketing...

So why is this (Amazing Spider-Man #700) story such a big deal? Because a well-known villain has taken Spidey's place?

Well guess what?

It's been done before...

That's Venom up there - from ASM #298. The lower pic is Kraven the Hunter donning the black-and-white...with MJ looking on in disgust.

In fact - know what else happened in this story?

That's right. Peter Parker was shot...put in a coffin...and buried!

But he got better.

So - Peter Parker has now been replaced by Doc Ock (through some sort of Vulcan Mind-Meld/alien tech/time-shift...oh f**k it, who cares?) and Peter Parker is dead (again) and Otto has somehow decided to  not just slander Spider-Man's good name, but to become a better Spider-Man than Peter ever was!?!

Need I remind anyone that at one point, back when continuity meant a damn, Doc Ock had a thing for Aunt May?

Awk - f**king - WARD!!!

As a dork, let me say this: back when I was buying comics instead of school lunches, I would buy, read, savor, bag, and board any story...

...even crap...

...knowing full well it was crap...

...because it was Marvel crap...

...and I really don't think that's changed. Sure, there are a ton more options nowadays, but in the end fans are gonna buy what they're hooked on - regardless of the "crap factor". Look at Twilight...

Now - a well-written story. That's going to draw newbies. Maybe this is such a story. Maybe not.

My overall point is this - 

Hey...HEY! COMICS WRITERS...WRITE SOME GOOD GODDAMNED STORIES!!!

Stop it with the "all-new-all-different". Stop the "killing off of a character just to bring him/her back later" bit.

The great thing about decades worth of comics continuity is that you can pick and choose which storylines to continue. It's worked on popular television shows like The West Wing. Instead, you all bitch about how confining it all is, and simply rip off what's been done before...from within continuity ya dummies.

My rant is over...you can go now...