WTF (did I just watch)? Friday...9/5/2014

Have you seen this movie?

It's Into the Night from 1985.  I got the DVD through Netflix because it looked interesting

What's it about? Well, a schmuck is stuck in a rut so big he can't sleep. Taking advice from a friend, he sneaks out on his wife (whom he caught cheating yet does nothing about) in the middle of the night to catch a plane to Vegas...only he never makes it. A woman running for her life literally lands on his car asking for help. He does, and gets caught up in a plot about smuggled Iranian (yes, you read that right - Iranian) jewels and a crew of murderous baddies out to get the gems back.

Did I mention this is a comedy?

Now hang on, 'cause it gets weirder.

Into the Night stars Jeff Goldblum - next seen in Silverado - as the schmuck, and Michelle "post-Scarface, pre-Ladyhawke" Pfeiffer as the woman, but it also has...

...Dan Aykroyd as the friend,

...Bruce McGill (that's right, D-Day) as Pfeiffer's Elvis-impersonator brother,

...David Cronenberg (director of Scanners, Videodrome, The Dead Zone and others) as Goldblum and Aykroyd's boss,

...Rick "Make-Up Genius" Baker as a drug dealer,

...Lawrence Kasdan (among other things, screenwriter of Raiders, Empire, and Jedi) as a police detective,

... and Jonathan "I directed Silence of the Lambs dammit" Demme as a federal agent.

I KNOW!!! 

But it gets even stranger.

I haven't mentioned the bad guys yet. 

There's the professional killer who happens to be British. Yeah, that's David Bowie...before he was Jareth the Goblin King.

Then there's the four Iranians hunting for the gems. Three of whom shout (Iranian I guess?) stuff throughout the movie while killing people left and right. But who's that fourth guy? The one wearing glasses that doesn't say a word for the entire film? Oh, it's just John Landis - the director of this film!

And let's not forget the guy in the hotel lobby using the telephone...is that Jim Henson? 

Why yes, yes it is.

Don't get me wrong. This movie is bad. Not "let's make fun of how bad it is" bad, but "the editor was asleep at the machine because it's that bad" bad. This film is just shy of two hours long and could easily have been cut to 89 minutes without losing any story. The plot creeps along at a snail's pace. 

And it gets...even more bizarre.

The disc has a bonus feature (and I'm all about the bonus features) which is, essentially, a documentary on legendary blues musician B.B. King. Why B.B. King? Because he performs the title song, was influential to the rest of the soundtrack, and has Landis as a fan. So we learn about King's youth and how he became the legend he is, as well as how Landis managed to get him involved with the project. All well and good.

However...

...the documentary begins with King performing "Lucille" live on stage in what I guess is a bar/dance club. This has nothing to do with the movie - in fact King never appears in it at all - but five seconds in, you'd think it was.

Why you may ask? Well let me tell you.

King isn't alone on the stage (which has a red-orange curtain backdrop and pink carpet). He's got a band. And everyone's wearing mid-1980's tuxedos with bright blue sequined jackets. 

Here's the line-up:

On piano, we have...Jeff Goldblum, who I wasn't aware could even play the piano. But his presence makes at least some sense - he's in the movie.

On saxophone, we have...Michelle Pfeiffer, who by the way can clearly not play the saxophone. But that's alright, 'cause she's got help.

There's Dan Aykroyd on trombone. Can he play the trombone? Who knows. But again, he's in the film and a well-known lover of the Blues so I'll let that slide.

Who's that on trumpet? Why that's Steve Martin. Not on banjo, which I know he can play, but the trumpet.

Then there's the topper...Eddie Murphy on drums.

W...T...F...?

No Landis, DON'T have Bowie perform on stage with King (which would have been awesome), just use people who either have nothing to do with the movie whatsoever or aren't even musicians (with the possible exception of Aykryod...possibly) to just PRETEND to play along with King.

(sigh...)

A Netflix film for the summer...

Major League!

Readers know I'm not a fan of Baseball. I respect the sport and the players, and am happy for the Red Sox when they're doing well, but the game in and of itself bores me to tears. It's a game I enjoy playing more than watching.

Baseball movies, on the other hand, are downright cool.

A League of Their Own,  Eight Men Out, Field of Dreams (though not technically a baseball film) and this are among my favorite films of all time. But why this one?

* The year it was made...

It came out in April, and I saw it in the theater with high school friends.

* The premise...a "down and out" tram full of nobodies and has-beens try their best to make it to the playoffs and beyond.

And most importantly?

* The cast...you've got:

Tom Berenger (later of Sniper,  The Substitute and Inception)

Charlie 'Carlos Estevez' Sheen (who was a Wild Thing looong before getting "Tiger Blood")

Corbin Bernsen (that guy from L.A. Law and Psych)

Margaret Whitton (whom I remember from The Secret of My Succe$s, don't judge)

James Gammon (whom I don't remember from anywhere else, but his voice is awesome)

Rene Russo (That's right, Thor's mother)

Wesley Snipes (almost ten years before Blade)

Dennis Haysbert (whom I didn't recognize, but was later in 24 as the President, and all those Allstate commercials)

...and, of course, Bob Uecker (whom I remember from Mr. Belvedere, but apparently had a career in Baseball before that)

I know...right?

If you've got 90 minutes to kill and have access to Netflix, check it out. The sequels were so-so, but this one is worth a watch.

So...How'd Iron Man 3 do?

The following info comes from Box Office Mojo:

Iron Man 3 kept the top spot this weekend, even with The Great Gatsby bringing in over $51 million.

Why oh why does anyone want to see that film? Anyway...

In its second weekend in the U.S., IM3 brought in $72.5 million, making the domestic total now almost $284.9 million. The foreign total is over $664 million, and the grand total to date just shy of $949 million.

Lots of people are comparing this film to The Avengers, and that's not really fair. That's like comparing Star Wars to Phantom Menace. Similar movies? Yes. But when you're dealing with movies within a common franchise, comparing them is like comparing different fruits in a common basket -

They're all fruit, but not everyone likes apples over pears over bananas over tangerines. Get me?

What I was interested in was the drop in sales between IM3's opening weekend and this one: 58%

Note that the drop is in reference to sales and not to audience.
In other words, that stat isn't saying that 58% less people went to see the movie this weekend, but that the film made 58% less money than last weekend.
So it's more than likely that in the past three days people saw IM3 in Drive-ins or at regular (non-IMAX/3D) theaters - which cost less per ticket - instead of the $15-a-piece ticket for the IMAX/3D "experience".

Box Office Mojo goes on to say that "if [Iron Man 3] continues to follow Iron Man 2's pace it will ultimately wind up over $400 million." I assume that is only in domestic dollars, and yeah, that'd be great...but again - comparing an apple that just came out against an apple from 2010 isn't all that fair.

Just sayin'...

WTF? Fridays...4/5/2013

It's been that kind of week...

The Good: I was able to get a computer into the basement (which has a chair, a sofa, my comics, a  tv, a blu-ray, my PS-2, some cd's and other stuff - like lights) and get it to connect to our router so I can blog without tying up the family computer.

The Bad: Between constant updates and some considerable distance from the router, the computer works online at a somewhat s l o w e r  p a c e .

Jon Favreau stopped by Kevin Pollack's Chat Show.

It was a cool conversation and ranged from his early work to Iron Man to watching films with his son to watching films with his father when he was a boy.

I'm a huge fan of Kevin Pollack's show because of the laid back approach to his conversations. Nothing's scripted, everything's on the table, swears are included and not *bleep*-ed out.

The main reason I haven't seen every episode is because of Pollack's guest choices. I've only seen shows with guests I know of, or am interested in enough to hear over two hours of talk with or about.

And tat's fine, because I'd rather watch that than listen to thirty-second soundbites and meaningless anecdotes between commercials.

AND NOW A MOMENT OF SILENCE...

Growing up, I had access to four networks: ABC, NBC, CBS and PBS.

That was it. No Cable, no Internet, no MTV, nothing else.

So the only way I could learn what films were coming out in the near future was through Saturday afternoon's Siskel and Ebert.

They were fun to watch, and I have no doubt that they're still sitting in some Chicago theater giving new movies their thumbs.

I remember the heart-breaking show where the Muppets said goodbye to Jim, and knew that son John took over Kermit...and by extension the whole "Muppet-verse".

But Jane was involved from the very beginning. 

Quoting from The Mary Sue...

"Jane was a board member of the Muppet Foundation, created in 1982 to advocate for and develop the art of puppetry. She also founded the Jim Henson Legacy following Jim’s untimely death in 1990 and the Jane Henson Foundation in 2001 to do some philanthropic work of her own."

Jane Nebel Henson was the Mother of all Muppets.

...and finally (on a lighter note)...

Gamora is slated to appear in Marvel Studios' Guardians of the Galaxy, and rumor has it that Zoe Saldana in in talks for the role.

I only know Saldana from The Losers and the Star Trek reboot, but I think she'd do nicely...as long as Gamora isn't CGI.

If they can paint a woman green for Trek, they can do it for GotG.

"Nuff said. 

Another useless movie connection made...

If you've got the time, try this film/TV series combo...

...followed by...

True, both are written/created by Aaron Sorkin.

Both deal with American Politics as well as life in general at the White House.

But there's more...
* The American President has Michael J. Fox - who's cool.
* The West Wing has Dule Hill - who's cool.
* Both have Martin Sheen, who gets promoted.
* Both have a character named Leo.
* Both have female Press Secretaries - Anna Deavere Smith (who appeared in West Wing as Secretary of State) in President, Allison Janney in West Wing (who's character's name is C.J....versus Sheen's character A.J. in President).
* Both have otherwise useless speechwriter characters...Lewis Rothschild in President (played by Fox) and Sam Seaborn in West Wing (played by Rob Lowe)...who were too cool to lose.
* Both share Congressmen's names, like Stackhouse and Clark.
* If you pay close attention, you'll even recognize specific lines...("We don't have time to do things one at a time.")

Yeah...I need to get out of the house more...

And now for some useless cinema trivia...

I love it when I stumble across two films that were made years apart that seem to have nothing in common, but upon further speculation actually make for a cool Double-Feature...

and...

You might be thinking "WTF?", but hear me out.

Both films feature characters passionate about one thing: Coney Island.

The Warriors fight their way back to their turf, and Lucy Kelson is a lawyer who does what she can to keep a multinational conglomerate from tearing down a landmark building in her neighborhood.

I know it's weird, but if you've got several hours to kill watch The Warriors first, and follow it up with Two Weeks Notice. See if you get that same eerie vibe I did.

So, the sequel to X-Men: First Class has a name...

I'll start by saying that I liked X-Men: FC better than I thought I would. It totally screwed with comic continuity, but stayed true to the continuity of the other films. 

I also liked the cameos by Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Romijn.

And now it seems that this classic Chris Claremont/John Byrne/Terry Austin masterpiece is the basis for the next film.

If you've never read this, shame on you. It is fantastic!

But it's set in an alternate Escape From New York type future (very similar to the beginning of X-Men: The Last Stand when they're in the Danger Room) that is overrun by Sentinels, and most of Marvel's mutants have died.

It introduces Rachel Summers...

Wolverine dies...

The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants are in it, but this team is lead by Mystique, and includes Blob, Pyro, Avalanche and Destiny...

Magneto isn't in it at all...

Neither is Xavier (except near the end)...

So my feeling is that while the "jist" of this movie is based on this story, some significant changer will be made. 

Which is fine, but I wonder if Fox will agree to set it in the MMU...

So...um...about G. I. Joe: Retaliation...

Moving it to March, 2013? Not the worst idea in the world.

To convert it to 3-D? Absolutely the worst f**king reason ever!


Why not release the film "as is" this summer...like you were supposed to...and then re-release the film in 2014 in 3-D?

It worked for James f**king Cameron...