Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels

I am hooked on this show and don’t know why.

I loved KISS as a kid, but mostly because of the make-up. That. Made. The Band.



Gene’s Demon look gave me nightmares. He was my least favorite member of the group, and to be honest, I didn’t know he could sing.

Now I see him as a savvy businessman, with a hot wife, two cool kids…and red footie pajamas with a trap door on the butt.

That’s Kool!

Viruses and Trojans

I’ve learned a lot about viruses and trojans in the past few weeks.

I’ve also learned that while the big anti-malware companies have the viruses pretty well controlled the trojans not so much.

We only have one communal laptop in the family, and when it gets ‘sick’, we all suffer. My wife can’t watch her Hulu and Netflix, my daughter can’t play her games, and I can’t blog.

Fortunately, instead of having to shell out $100 to a stranger, we have an IT guru in the family. He’s very smart, very nice, and gave us tools to fight future infestations.

The asking for help is the hardest part.

The conversation went like this…



Yes…I restarted the computer.

Yes, the computer is connected to the internet.

No, I wasn’t looking at porn.

Yes, I’m sure I wasn’t looking at porn.

We have an anti-virus program, but the problems come up before it can run a scan.

Okay. See you Saturday.

SATURDAY…

See, this is what happens.

You have HOW many anti-virus programs to run?

It’s going to take HOW long?

HOURS LATER…

Thank you very much for this. We really appreciate it.

Yes. The food was good wasn’t it?

Thanks again. Bye.

THE VERY NEXT DAY…

Hi again.

The Internet isn’t working.

Yes, I restarted the computer.

Yes, the little thing on the side of the laptop is on.

No, I wasn’t looking at porn. What do I do?

Okay, I clicked this…

Double clicked that…

Right clicked and checked the box…

The other box? Okay.

It opens a window saying…

No, that IS what is says…

Got it…Are you sure this will work?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN “SHOULD”?

I can’t tell.

My eyes are closed.

OKAY! (Whew), it worked. Thanks again.

Yeah, I’ve been meaning a take a class in this…

No, I wasn’t looking at porn. Talk to you later. Bye.

The problem with computer viruses and trojans is that no matter what you’re doing when they show up, everyone thinks porn is the cause. Well, that and life grinds to a halt.

So now that we’re up and running again, I’ve got to get back into a regular blog routine and back on topic.

Geek Speak

My wife works for a renewable energy company that has a lot of engineers and techies on the payroll, most of whom are fans of Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who…you get the idea.

She is involved with the process of getting new clients and scheduling events at trade shows.

She came to me after getting an email from an engineer and asked me to verify the proper context of the following phrase:

“[Making] the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs.”

She knew it was from "a Star Wars movie", but wasn’t sure which one.

Isn’t she cute?

I’m Going!

I’m planning to attend the New England Wizard Comic Con from Friday 10/1, through Sunday 10/3 in Boston…

…and they’re looking for volunteers.

I have no idea when they’ll need me.
I have no idea what they’ll have me do.

What I do know is that they’ll want me for a minimum of 10 hours over the course of the show.

The times of the event over all three days haven’t been posted yet, but the Toronto Con is from 12 to 8 Friday, 10 to 7 Saturday and 10 to 5 Sunday, so I’m assuming they’re looking for help as early as 10 am Friday.

No one is slated to appear yet, and the only event scheduled so far is the presenting of the Inkwell Awards...



...which until now have only been presented online. Now I don’t know much about today’s inkers…or inkers in general, but I’ll be well versed by Con time.

I’ll keep updating this info as it comes in, but one thing is for certain:

No matter what events take place, no matter who is planned to appear, no matter how many vendors take part…

…I’m Going!

Zombiemania

I hate zombies. Love werewolves and man-made monsters, tolerate vampires and giant bugs, like huge dinosaurs and apes…

…but HATE zombies.


They give me nightmares. Freddy and Jason give me nightmares. Stephen King novels give me nightmares. Zombies give me nightmares that include pissing in my pants and screaming like a little girl. To. This. Day.

Naturally my 10 year old daughter loves them and laughs at Daddy’s silliness.

So much so that she got together with my wife and bought me George Romero’s original classic Night of the Living Dead for Father’s Day. I hadn’t seen it yet, and when I did watch it…it gave me nightmares. My daughter ended up seeing it one night when I was working (with Mommy in the room), and she thought it was funny.


Ha. Ha. Ha.

So when I saw this documentary available on Netflix, I thought it would entertain her and ease some of my fear.

I was right on both counts. I highly recommend this. It’s only 56 minutes long, and features many creative people behind the camera; skilled make-up and special effects masters and George himself.


I still hate zombies, but now I like that I hate them.

Adorkable Moment

My main problem with the few webseries I’ve seen is that you have to keep clicking every 2 minutes 37 seconds, but the acting and writing have always been good.

I haven’t heard much about a Buck Rogers webseries, but I thought it was some half-assed attempt to mine more gold from my childhood.

I had no idea this was coming…



ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!

Erin Gray and Gil Gerard. As Buck’s parents. This casting genius ranks right up there with Annette O’Toole and John Schneider as Ma and Pa Kent.

I’m hooked already.

The IT Crowd

This is a great British show that started in February of 2006 and has lasted three series thus far. I love this show because it speaks to geeks and dorks like me.



The show starts out with Jen, a new hire, being asked about her computer knowledge based on her resume. She lied on her resume of course, and fibs her way through the questions. The boss puts Jen in charge of the IT department, which is located in the basement, where she meets the whole department: two men - Roy, an Irish bloke with the typical snide attitude towards people who look down on IT, and Moss, England’s idea of what Steve Urkel would be like as a grown-up.



She doesn’t know a thing about computers, they don’t know a thing about people and the three of them soon realize that they need each other in order to keep their jobs.



The comedy is top notch. Subtle things from Space Invaders decorations on the walls to Roy’s ThinkGeek fashion sense make the show fabulous. My wife works for a big company that has an IT department, and she gets most of the jokes.

If you have a chance, check it out. All three series are available on Netflix to rent or watch online.

My Wife and The Doctor…

My wife and I are at odds about a couple of things relating to The Doctor. That is, I am right and she is wrong about two specific things about The Doctor -

1) Each of his new regenerations is younger than the last.
2) He ran after looking into the Untempered Schism.

All I have to do is refer to the Wikipedia page to prove both points of my case.

But that’s fine, I think she just has a thing for David Tennant and is still upset over his leaving the show.

Shark Moment

Every character in comics has a Shark Moment. And every Shark Moment is different for every fan. Some fans accept the Shark Moment despite knowing in their heart of hearts that it is a Shark Moment. Others jump over the Shark Moment and continue on, discounting it as a cruel joke.

Here at Adorkification, the Shark Moment comes when any creator can do anything they want because I just stopped caring.




WATCHMEN

I can hear you now:

“You’re out of your mind! How can any character in arguably the best graphic novel ever made have a Shark Moment?”

Short answer - they don't…yet.



But there’s talk of a sequel.

To arguably the best graphic novel ever made.

I know I’m not alone in this. There are certain characters in certain graphic novel masterpieces that should never be touched. Any attempt to do so would reduce the impact those characters had in the original work.


Not. Ever.

So Adorkification officially deems Any And Every Proposed Sequel as Watchmen’s Shark Moment.

Torchwood...

Russell T. Davies made lots of contributions to the Doctor Who franchise. Most important was breathing new life. Most daring was creating the spin-off Torchwood.

The Doctor Who show has always been a topic of discussion in government because it could be considered too intense for children to watch. The whole “behind the sofa” thing.

So when Davies was given the go ahead to make a spin-off, he went further into mature-themed territory. There were homosexual overtones throughout the series. Sexual innuendo, bloody violence and other adult oriented material found their way into the Whoniverse in completely acceptable, fan friendly ways. And it was good…

…but not at first.

This show got better over time. Yes, there were obvious X-Files moments, but that went along with characters like Captain Jack Harkness - The Man Who Can’t Die, and Gwen Cooper - the newly hired recruit with a strong relationship with her man Rhys and her former partner on the force Andy.

My biggest gripe about the series was the Weevils.



I’m not sure what purpose they served in the show.

Torchwood is located at a rift in time and space in Cardiff, Wales. Their purpose is to monitor the rift and deal with whatever comes out of it.

Okay…but where do the Weevils come from?

They come from the rift.

But where from the rift? What does Torchwood do once the Weevils are caught? Are the Weevils sent back through the rift? Why do they keep coming back?

I saw them as ants that keep coming back into the bathroom no matter how much Raid I use.



When Torchwood: Children of Earth came out, I was expecting some big Weevil revelation like ‘Bad Wolf’, but no such luck.


My hope is that when Season 4 (or Series 4) comes out, all will be explained.

Provided, of course, that there is a Series 4…

My problem with Aliens…

That’s the movie, not aliens in general.

The movie centers around a group of futuristic Space Marines going back to the planet Ripley left in the first movie because colonists had landed there to make the planet hospitable for the rest of humanity.

Great plot, lots of action. Here’s my gripe…

Remember when the Marines first wake up and they give their CO some shit about “bug hunts” and “chickenshit outfits”? The CO gives orders about getting things ready in an unrealistic time frame and one of the female Marines…wait for it…starts to whine.

I call Bullshit.

Now me, I’d be whining on the bus all the way to Louisiana. I do not have what it takes to join any branch of the military and am the first to admit it, but there’s no way a female Marine today would even THINK about whining, especially after going through Paris Island. There, cadets could whine and complain all day long. But once they’ve passed through boot camp, Marines shouldn’t be whining. Period.

So there is no way a future Marine, male or female, would whine or complain in deep space on a mission to save colonists from possible alien life forms.

Bull. Shit.

To Be Or Not To Be...Canon?

I’m a sucker for continuity.


When I watched the Super Friends, Incredible Hulk and Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends cartoons, I matched faces to names. I knew who Superman, Wonder Woman, Spider-Man, Iceman, The Flash and all the rest were on sight. I could tell you their powers and abilities. But the shows were done-in-ones, or -twos. The plot would be resolved, the episode would end, and next week it would start all over again.



Then I read Marvel’s Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe #4. I learned that these two-dimensional drawings of heroes, villains and aliens can…by the slightest stretch of the imagination…be considered living, breathing characters. Characters with lives. Characters that have things happen to them. Characters that deal with these events over time.



I started reading proper comics during Marvel’s Secret War. Characters were returning to Earth after something happened to them far away and some were limping, some were replaced, some had new threads. I had to know what happened. As I kept reading, references were made to other issues, other titles, other events. Again…I had to know.

I was hooked.

A universe unfolded in front of me. Connections were made, synapses firing wildly.

Not long after this, I discovered the same thing was happening elsewhere…

The Star Wars Trilogy that I loved so much had novels that took place before, after, even during the movies…

Star Trek came out with a new series taking place in the 24th century…

Superman, Wonder Woman and The Flash are caught in a Crisis…

I was overwhelmed. System overload. My response was to limit myself to only one universe. Not just for financial reasons, but for sanity’s sake.


I stuck with Marvel, and became a Zombie twenty years before the title came out.

By the nineties, I couldn’t afford to feed my habit anymore, and crashed along with the market.

I resigned myself to the original Trilogy because Parts I, II and III sucked and reading stories about Han and Leia’s kids hurt my head.

I have little money and limited shelf space. I’m in my late thirties now. I can not afford to get hooked into anything new…



Oh. Shit.

So now I have a dilemma. Here’s a new Whoniverse to explore, episodes and novels, which interconnect in a beautiful array of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey goodness.

Do I stick with the shows? Or expand the Whoniverse to include the books?

Are the books considered…canon?

And don’t tell me to go to the library. I don’t roll like that. I buy for keeps, people. The DVD’s are already in my sights.

I don’t know what to do.

I'm a sucker for continuity...