WTF? Friday (9/9/2016)

 I know Joe. "Just the Facts." Okay, here are some facts:

Summer, unfortunately, lasts approximately 91.25 days. Exactly the same as every other season.

It does NOT run from Memorial Day to Labor Day. It runs from the Summer Solstice to the Autumnal Equinox.

It ALSO does not give people the right to act like asses during this confusing time period.

• Just because you can afford to have your fancy vehicle stored away nine months out of the year, doesn't mean you can take up three spaces by parking diagonally.
• Stop looking for long sleeve hoodies in July. You're in Maine. Deal.
• You wanna drive with the top down? Fine. You wanna drive with your foot sticking out of the window? You're a moron.
• Stop looking for bathing suits in September. See above.
• Speaking of September, you have to stop for school buses. Even when taking your 40-footer you named 'Tax Shelter' for a "spin".
• If you're in a store with your children (whether it's raining or not) and they break something, tell someone.
• When you visit another place, drive like those around you. You wouldn't drive on the right in London, and you wouldn't head towards Broadway and 42nd Street doing 5 mph. You'd get killed. Going 60 on a back road at 2 AM? Same thing.
• Trash cans exist for the sole purpose of holding trash. Use them. That being said, trash cans are NOT ashtrays.
• When talking with your friends about the problems you face refurnishing your cottage, remember that some people around you live here year round...and have to afford heating oil.

Seriously Joe,

the Equinox can't get here fast enough.

Rant Warning...(WTF? Friday 7/29/2016)

Morning Joe.

I'm in a fowl mood, and I'm gonna vent. Apologies in advance...

...but if you stick around, I'll owe you a coffee.

Iced. Which is the bulk of my ranting.

I am not a Summer person.

I wasn't always this way. When I was a kid, I looked forward to Summer School Vacation as much as anyone else. Grilled hot dogs...swimming pools...women of the female variety in bathing suits. These things made me happy.

Then I started working for a living.

And ever since I started working in retail, the seasons stopped revolving around the Sun.

They revolved around the dollar.

Valentine's Day started in January. Summer started in March. This past week, I started seeing Halloween and Christmas stuff coming in. As I learned about the Retail Calendar, I rolled with it. I didn't have a particular stake in any specific time of year, so what did I care?

But lately, it's been getting to me.

 This is the general vision of Summer. Sunny days. Warm ocean breezes. Relaxation. 

This is the harsh reality.

Everyone is looking for their beach. I know, because I see it every time I open Facebook. Pictures and comments about how wonderful their vacations are at some beach somewhere with fabulous food and no worries...

...and I'm stuck working for a living.

Then there are the customers I'm forced to listen to at work. Since my store is about 10 miles from a rather large lake, we get a lot of Summer tourists. And they're all complaining about how they have to get new sheets and chairs and s#!t for their Summer home.

You heard me. Their Summer Home. Or Camp. Or Beach House.

Boo. F**kin'. Hoo.

Don't get me wrong now. I get four vacation weeks a year, and yeah - one of them was earlier this month. Know how I spent that time?

 Getting the cars looked at...

 ...mowing the lawn...

...and driving family members around.

All in the damn heat.

Wanna know my vision of Summer?

Right!

DAMN right!

GODDAMN MOTHA F**KIN' RIGHT!

Thanks Joe, I needed that.

I'm okay now...really...

...effin' Summer...

Happy Labor Day Weekend...

Well, we've survived another Summer...

I think the family and I will hit the beach today...our first all season...now that most of the tourists have headed for home. 

With the kid back at school on Tuesday (four day weekend? what's up with that?)I'll be able to get back into more comics-related stuff.

On a side-note, Adorkette and I saw Ben Affleck's first foray into the comic film genre...

...it was the Director's Cut (which is infinitely better and if not highly recommended, maybe high-er-ly so) and she said it was "Okay...but he'll be better as Batman."

We shall see little one...we shall see...