I know Joe. "Just the Facts." Okay, here are some facts:
Summer, unfortunately, lasts approximately 91.25 days. Exactly the same as every other season.
It does NOT run from Memorial Day to Labor Day. It runs from the Summer Solstice to the Autumnal Equinox.
It ALSO does not give people the right to act like asses during this confusing time period.
- Just because you can afford to have your fancy vehicle stored away nine months out of the year, doesn't mean you can take up three spaces by parking diagonally.
- Stop looking for long sleeve hoodies in July. You're in Maine. Deal.
- You wanna drive with the top down? Fine. You wanna drive with your foot sticking out of the window? You're a moron.
- Stop looking for bathing suits in September. See above.
- Speaking of September, you have to stop for school buses. Even when taking your 40-footer you named 'Tax Shelter' for a "spin".
- If you're in a store with your children (whether it's raining or not) and they break something, tell someone.
- When you visit another place, drive like those around you. You wouldn't drive on the right in London, and you wouldn't head towards Broadway and 42nd Street doing 5 mph. You'd get killed. Going 60 on a back road at 2 AM? Same thing.
- Trash cans exist for the sole purpose of holding trash. Use them. That being said, trash cans are NOT ashtrays.
- When talking with your friends about the problems you face refurnishing your cottage, remember that some people around you live here year round...and have to afford heating oil.
Seriously Joe,
the Equinox can't get here fast enough.
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